What is sex therapy? You are not alone. Sexual concerns are a common struggle for many people. But no one talks about them. So people often struggle alone. These secret problems often cause feelings of shame, embarassment, loneliness, sadness, depression, and anxiety. Sex therapy is a strength-based, solution-focused talk therapy that addresses sexual issues and concerns that are negatively impacting you and your relationships.
My goal is to help you overcome your sexual concerns and embrace sexual health throughout your life-time.
The World Health Organization defines sexual health as "a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled."
Sex therapy could be helpful for you and your partner if you are coping with:
*DIFFERENCES IN SEX DRIVE. Your drive or libido is out of sync with your partner's, leading to conflict about one person always initiating and the other person always saying no.
*LACK OF SEXUAL PASSION. You are bored and want to bring back the erotic energy, or you want to explore new forms of sexual expression.
*LOW SEXUAL DESIRE & ANXIETY ABOUT SEX. Your body and mind become anxious, tense, or uncomfortable with sexual touch, which often leads to unwillingness to be sexual with your partner, inability to experience pleasure, pain with sex, or other functionality problems.
*DECLINE IN SEXUAL SATISFACTION DUE TO LIFE TRANSITIONS. Your sex life has been impacted negatively by life cycle transitions, such as birth of a child, divorce, blending families, mental illness in family members, empty nest, or care-giving for elderly parents.
*LACK OF SEXUAL PLEASURE & PAIN DURING SEX. You have difficulty experiencing pleasure or orgasm, you experience pain during sexual activity, or you have other functionality problems, like problems with lubrication or penetration.
*PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. You are stuck "watching yourself try to be aroused or orgasm" during sexual activity and you feel pressured to perform.
*PROBLEMS WITH ERECTIONS & EJACULATION. You have erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and medication isn't always working.
*COMPULSIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR. You or your partner have unwanted sexual behavior or compulsive sexual behavior (sex addiction), such as excessive porn use, repeated affairs, or solicitation of prostitutes.
*TRAUMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENCES PREVENTING A POSITIVE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. Your negative sexual experiences in the past make you feel inadequate, defective, dirty, numb, or overwhelmed. Common negative sexual experiences include sexual abuse from a formerly trusted person, sexual harassment or assault, or sexual experiences when your body said "no" but you said "yes" to avoid upsetting your partner.
Worried sex therapy will be too uncomfortable? It makes sense that you are anxious about talking about something you "aren't supposed to talk about." I will create a safe place for you. I am compassionate and nonjudgmental. I am curious and interested in you and your experiences in your family and relationships. I will never judge you or be shocked by what you share. I will often invite you to stop judging yourself. I will help you recognize that your sexual needs and wants matter and help you learn how to communicate them in healthy ways. I will help you navigate difficult conversations and conflict around sex in ways that improve trust and intimacy. I will help you work through your sexual concerns so that you can create the healthy sexual relationship that you desire. Can you imagine what that will look like? It will be worth it.